By Georgia Grellier
Welcome back to Story Time with Georgia, where I relay weird stories from members of the CC community. Shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to be Catalyst-column famous.
Who: Anonymous sophomore
When: 11th grade
For this one, we’ll call this anonymous Colorado College sophomore “Kate.” Picture this: an 11th-grade soccer game, which probably felt like a much bigger deal than it actually was. Kate was playing soccer while wearing a thong under her shorts, which is in fact noteworthy information for this incident. While she was on the bench during the game, she needed to pee (as human beings do) and took a little trip to the lavatory. As she peed, she felt her tampon shift slightly, but wasn’t too worried and needed to get back to the game.
Soon enough after returning to the field, our high school athlete was put in the game and playing her heart out. Suddenly, though, while in the middle of the field, she told me, “I feel my vagina empty.” Not good, especially given that thongs do not make especially good safety nets for that kind of thing. Kate squatted down right there in the middle of the field, telling me, “I took a knee and was like SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME OUT.” Fortunately, someone did, but then had to explain the situation in as vague terms as possible to her slightly awkward male coach, who uncomfortably yet kindly asked her if she needed a change of shorts. Not the most fun conversation. She said no but ran back to the bathroom.
On the toilet, Kate could not find her tampon anywhere. Like, she was really looking around in there, and there were no slightly cylindrical cotton things to be found. Fearing the worst — a stray tampon on the soccer field — she ran back to the bench and asked her teammates if they had perchance seen a used tampon on the ground. She scanned the area before looking behind the bench, where she spotted a bloody tampon lying forlornly in the grass. Mortified, she quickly scooped it up and ran back to the bathroom to dispose of it, definitely trying to pretend that this hadn’t just happened.
I’m fully assuming she has tampon trust issues now, and I wish she remembered what brand it was so that I could know to literally never ever spend my money on an overpriced product (Pink Tax is real guys — tampons are taxed in 47 states, but Viagra isn’t? Ok boomers. But anyway, I digress) that evidently does not function properly. Also, Kate, thank you for not littering. That probably would’ve been a bummer for someone else to find. Shoutout to all the tampons that have stayed put when they’re supposed to.
Takeaway: Everyone who has had a period has a period story. Send yours my way for The Catalyst-reading world to read.