By GEORGIA GRELLIER
Welcome back to Story Time with Georgia, where I share weird bite-sized stories from members of the Colorado College community. I love hearing about both the trivial and dramatic parts of people’s lives, so if you’ve had an awkward Tinder date, gotten in trouble, developed a food allergy at an inconvenient time, almost died (figuratively or literally), used Wikihow for something Wikihow probably shouldn’t be used for, or have any story you wish to tell me (CC-related or no!), email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m starting this block with another period story and a heartwarming tale about how wine can save the lives of the elderly.
Who: Gillie Foley ’21
When: August 2013
What: Tampon/Airplane Incident
Gillie Foley ’21 was a wee high school first-year when she got her period for the second time. As many who have menstruated know, the tampon learning curve is steep, and it takes a couple rounds to get the hang of it. (Just think about it: you’re supposed to put this plastic/cardboard/cotton thing up your vagina for the first time, and it’s like, where is the hole? I feel like no one ever knows, and everyone who says they did is probably a liar).
For Foley, her second period and first tampon insertion happened when she was on an airplane visiting her father. Although she was ready to solve the mystery of tampons, airplane bathrooms aren’t really the ideal dimensions for that kind of quest, and in such a cramped space, she knew that she had to get creative. Crouching in the plane’s front bathroom, she struggled for a few minutes to insert the tampon and tried various strategies: putting her legs up, sitting down, and attempting probably 50 percent of the angles you’d find on a protractor. None of these tactics worked, but nevertheless, she persisted.
About 10 minutes of hard work later, her efforts finally succeeded. But when she finally got it in, she received another surprise: turning around to leave, she realized that she’d never closed the door. She said, “I’ve been so focused on my mission, the [ducking] door is just swinging [straight] open,” which says really positive things about her focus and somewhat negative things about her fellow passengers, who really let her down by not telling her.
Takeaway: Tampons and bathroom doors are both hard to use. Also, some people just have really good focus.
Who: Eliza Guion ’20
When: Summer 2017
What: Almost Killed Grandma via Frisbee Manslaughter
Feb. 18 was “National Wine Day,” a fake Instagram holiday almost as beloved as “National Siblings Day,” “National Pets Day,” and “National Best Friends Day,” which all seem to happen six times a year. In honor of what was probably only the first National Wine Day of 2019, this story is proof that wine might be the key to a long life.
After a relaxing beach day in Chatham, Mass., Eliza Guion ’20 was frolicking around a friend’s backyard and playing a wholesome summer game of Kan Jam frisbee. All of the spectators, including Guion’s friend’s grandma, were eating hors d’oeuvres on the porch when Guion suddenly “let loose a wildly off-target frisbee.” As the frisbee hurtled right over the porch railing toward grandma’s face, Guion said, “We were all staring in shock ready to watch the frisbee knock her out.” Grandma was oblivious to her perilous situation, but just as her life was flashing before everybody else’s eyes, she picked up her wine glass — and Guion’s rogue frisbee demolished the stem instead of her face. Although the stem immediately shattered, the glass itself was fine, and Grandma naturally took a sip and laughed it off. Given that almost killing someone is stressful, Guion was less chill about the whole thing, but don’t worry — she still plays Kan Jam.
Takeaway: Stemmed wine glasses are underrated safety devices.