By GEORGIA GRELLIER
Welcome back to Story Time with Georgia, where I share weird bite-sized stories from members of the Colorado College community. Do you have a story that you think is funny but your friends are sick of hearing? Is there a weird little anecdote deep in the recesses of your mind that you want the world to know? Email me at email@example.com!
Who: Brother of Fleur ’19 and Goji the Pug
When: February 2018
What: Awkward Icebreakers
About a year ago, Fleur’s social butterfly of a younger brother, Jacques, was headed to Borneo, Malaysia for a 10-week water and biodiversity conservation program. He had just met his peers in Raleigh International Airport, and naturally “wanted to break the ice” with a solid, conversation-starting question to get to know his group. He landed on, “So ,what’s the weirdest thing you guys have ever done?” as his icebreaker — which is bold, and I respect it. Everyone just looked at him in response, and no one said anything to answer, which is always a bummer, so he generously offered to go first and answer his own question.
Here is what he decided to share with his group of fellow students (with whom he would spend the next 10 weeks): “One time, I had my dog eat a smurf gummy out of my butt.” Fleur said that again, “Nobody said anything,” which makes sense given that kind of answer is hard to follow. Jacques went on to make friends on the trip, so that’s cool. Goji the pug was unfortunately not available for comment.
Takeaway: Honestly, we as a society need to be better at icebreakers.
Who: Fleur’s Golden Retriever, Dino
What: Dead Dog, or Just High?
One day, when Dino the golden retriever was 12 years old, he suddenly stopped moving. Even though he was still breathing, his eyes were rolling into the back of his adorable head, and he was clearly experiencing some distress. Predicting that Dino’s time on Earth was coming to an end, his terrified parents phoned Fleur and Jacques to warn them that their beloved dog was probably dying. Few things are sadder than dog deaths, so the siblings obviously “spent the day being really sad and sh** like that.”
The following day, however, the two were surprised to receive another call from their parents saying that “[Dino’s] totally fine and running around like absolutely nothing happened.” Fleur said her whole family “was like ‘WTF’ but moved on.”
A full year later, the mystery of Dino’s freak illness was solved, while Fleur and Jacques were traveling together. Jacques confessed that he was “in the habit of waking up in the middle of the night to cook pot brownies so that my parents wouldn’t catch him.” Ah, to be in high school again! The night before Dino acted like he was perishing from the earth, Jacques disposed of the scraps of his baked good in the family trash, which the dog happened to eat the next day. Dino “was basically just stoned for the day,” which a lot of Colorado College students can probably relate to — that feeling of being way too high and thinking that you’re dying. Not me, a law-abiding citizen, but other people.
Takeaway: Don’t eat things out of the trash. This goes for dogs and people.